Metal and The Grammy’s: Two Tastes That Go Terrible Together

On the 2015 Grammy Awards, Tenacious D wins the Grammy for Best Hard Rock /Metal performance for their cover of Dio’s “Holy Diver” from the uber disappointing all-star Dio tribute album, This Is Your Life. It was the shot heard ‘round the metal world. So much so that the day after my Facebook feed was flooded with outraged metal fans saying shit such as, “Why did Tenacious D win?”, “Tenacious D is a joke”, and “It should’ve been Mastodon or Anthrax.”

The last time I heard this many metal heads bitching about a Grammy award was back in 1988 when the first ever metal Grammy went to Jethro Tull (who in honestly put out a great album that year). As a matter of fact, that was the last time I even really watched a Grammy Awards broadcast. Even as a 9th grader I realized then that the music industry was clueless and that I couldn’t depend on them to truly point me in the direction of real, credible metal music.

Hearing all of these rants and complaints really had me thinking a couple of key things. First off, I found it entertaining that many of the people who were angered over Tenacious D winning the Grammy are the same people who go out and buy Steel Panther albums and support them live like they are a real, credible heavy metal act. Hey, a joke is a joke regardless of how much lipstick you put on it and what kind of wig you give it. Second, it’s the fucking Grammy awards. What do you fucking expect?

Isn’t the Grammy Awards pretty much the antithesis of everything metal is about? In my opinion, the Grammy Awards is everything that I hate about the music industry and an example of the shit that I wouldn’t listen to in the first place. I mean, think about it? It’s a committee of people who don’t know jack shit about what real music lovers (especially metal fans) truly listen to or love. I don’t know about you but I pretty much look to the Grammy’s as a source of what NOT to listen to. Call me a hater but whatever. If it’s getting Grammy cred, it’s probably not worth a shit (except for GWAR being nominated in 1993 for best long form video, Phallus in Wonderland, which was hilarious).

Just look at the metal category in general for 2015: The nominees were Slipknot (ooo, they look so freaky and edgy), Mastadon (ooo, homeboy’s got a tattoo on his forehead), Motorhead (I think all old dudes at least know the name “Motorhead”), and two Dio cover songs from a tribute album. Just looking at that list makes me laugh as, again, this is what the Grammy’s think is the best representation of metal music. If you know nothing about metal, THIS is what you should be listening to. Laughable. Don’t get me wrong. I love Anthrax, Tenacious D is a joke, and Motorhead is Motorhead. As for the rest (yes, even Metallica), they are commercial hogwash at best. To look at this list just proves that there is little thought or even true knowledge about what is really going on in the metal world.

At the end of it all, it’s the fucking Grammy’s people. If you are really that upset about the Grammy’s, stop feeding into it. Stop watching it. Stop discussing it. Stop giving it free press, and please stop filling up my fucking feed with your frustrations. If you don’t like what the music industry is trying to feed you, push away from the table and yell, “NO MORE JELLO FOR ME, MA!” Go out and buy the albums that you truly feel represent what metal is to YOU. Tell your friends about those bands, convince them to buy the albums, go to the shows, and support them. At the same time, if you love these bands and love the attention they got from the Grammy’s, more power to you. Eat it up and enjoy it and support your bands.

What do I think about the Grammy’s? I don’t. I choose to support the bands that I feel are the important bands; the bands that are truly making an impact in metal music and doing something really, really special. I just learned in my 31 years of being a metal fan that the truly great, magical, and special bands are the ones that you have find yourself or hear about them from a friend. They’re not the bands you’ll hear on the radio, see on TV, or even heard about via the Grammy’s. Go out there and support those bands and spread the word. That is much more powerful than any award an artist can get only to be forgotten about 2 years later.

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