{"id":17863,"date":"2018-09-25T01:00:16","date_gmt":"2018-09-25T05:00:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/southeastofheaven.com\/?p=17863"},"modified":"2018-09-25T09:53:41","modified_gmt":"2018-09-25T13:53:41","slug":"they-really-are-making-motley-crues-biography-the-dirt-into-a-movie-seriously","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/?p=17863","title":{"rendered":"They Really Are Making Motley Crue’s Biography “The Dirt” Into a Movie… Seriously!"},"content":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s amazing to me that with enough hype, smoke, and mirrors a band can become legendary and do so without even having any really truly great songs.\u00a0 It\u2019s all good.\u00a0 I was young too and yes, I fell for it as well.\u00a0 I thought Motley Crue was one of the coolest fucking bands on the planet.\u00a0 They always looked bad ass to me, they were loud, and they just appealed to me in the way that say Superman or Spiderman would appeal to comic book kids.\u00a0 Motley Crue were kind of like super heroes of sorts but as with super heroes, the older we get, the more we realize just how un-real they truly are.<\/p>\n

Motley Crue captured and appealed to my young developing mind.\u00a0 Songs about fucking chicks in elevators, telling us all about Dr. Feelgood, and shouting at the devil which I\u2019m still trying to understand;\u00a0 were they shouting mean things at him or shouting shit like, \u201cFuck yeah, Devil.\u00a0 We love you!\u00a0 Horns up!\u00a0 Either way, I fell for it and loved it but the older I got, the more ridiculous Motley Crue got, especially when you compare them to other bands of their era who were so much better.\u00a0 Ratt, W.A.S.P., hell, even Great White was fucking better than them but the Crue had a shtick that stuck out (even more so than W.A.S.P\u2019s) and therefore made them kings of the Sunset Strip.<\/p>\n

So here we are, 30 some odd years later and there is a movie being made.\u00a0 That\u2019s right; a bio-pic about Motley Crue based on the band\u2019s bestselling biography, The Dirt.\u00a0 For anyone who read that book, you\u2019ll know that it\u2019s hands down one of the best fucking reads out there.\u00a0 I mean, I usually don\u2019t like fiction but The Dirt was a book that I just couldn\u2019t put down.\u00a0 Ok, that was kind of a jab but c\u2019mon, for as fucked up as those guys were, their memories sure were clear.\u00a0 Anyways, someone thought it would be a good idea to make this book into a movie.\u00a0 Yes, that\u2019s right, The Dirt is going to become a movie.<\/p>\n

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Motley Crue… I think?<\/strong><\/em><\/center><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Yeah, buddy.\u00a0 How about that cast photo?\u00a0 So apparently the biggest star in this cast is Iwan Rheon who is best known for his role as everyone\u2019s favorite dick chopper offer Ramsay Bolton in Game of Thrones.\u00a0 Oh yeah, let\u2019s not forget rapper Machine Gun Kelly (no I didn\u2019t make this up) who is best known for his “rapid fire lyrical flow.”\u00a0 The cast is rounded out by Douglas Booth who, according to IMDB, hasn\u2019t done a goddamn thing, and Daniel Webber who is noted to have played in Julia Leigh’s haunting erotic fairytale, Sleeping Beauty in 2011 as Vince Neil.\u00a0 These guy\u2019s careers are about as exciting as all the songs on Dr. Feelgood sans the title track.<\/p>\n

The IMDB page does also offer up some very important information such as Tony Cavalero who, again, didn\u2019t do a damn thing playing Ozzy Osbourne as well as who will be portraying such cruecial roles as Actress, Beautiful Blonde Groupie, Crue Groupie, Mourner, Girl With Drink, Excited Girl, Party Guest, and Addict.\u201d\u00a0 Whew.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

So honestly, I\u2019m just trying to figure this out.\u00a0 Of all the fucking bands to make a movie about, they make a movie about Motley Crue with a starless-studded cast of people in a production that is without a doubt going straight to the bottom of everyone\u2019s Netflix menus.\u00a0 I don\u2019t even see this movie going straight to DVD.\u00a0 This movie even has the potential to make Rockstar look like the fucking Godfather.\u00a0 I mean, is there going to a really serious scene where Nikki Sixx poetically ponders over the lyrics to \u201cLooks That Kill?\u201d\u00a0 Is there a scene where Vince Neil actually first instates the \u201crah ah ah\u2019s\u201d into all the lyrics?\u00a0 Are we going to see Tommy Lee fucking Bullwinkle in the van?<\/p>\n

It all just seems ridiculous to me but in all honesty, Motley Crue really is a fucking legendary band.\u00a0 They were one of the first of their kind and they ruled the Sunset Strip scene and reigned as kings for decades.\u00a0 Now whether or not they are nearly as talented or able as other bands is not the point.\u00a0 The point is that Motley Crue, whether we like them, liked them and don\u2019t any longer, or don\u2019t at all, is a huge part of a huge story.\u00a0 It\u2019s just sad that this story is going to be told with such low brow budgeting and a storyline that I\u2019m sure will paint them to be Gods amongst men in spandex.\u00a0 With all that being said, you bet your sweet ass I\u2019m gonna watch this movie regardless of how bad it is because it\u2019s literally going to be like a trainwreck.\u00a0 You\u2019re not going to want to look away not matter how painful it us.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s amazing to me that with enough hype, smoke, and mirrors a band can become legendary and do so without even having any really truly great songs.\u00a0 It\u2019s all good.\u00a0 I was young too and yes, I fell for it as well.\u00a0 I thought Motley Crue was one of the coolest fucking bands on the planet.\u00a0 They always looked bad ass to me, they were loud, and they just appealed to me in the way that say Superman or Spiderman […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":17864,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[277],"tags":[2039,2037,2038,271,2036],"class_list":["post-17863","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-music-news","tag-bunch-of-noname-actors","tag-game-of-thrones","tag-iwan-rheon","tag-motley-crue","tag-the-dirt"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/IMG_6527.JPG.jpeg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17863","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/14"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=17863"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17863\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/17864"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=17863"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=17863"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=17863"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}