{"id":17215,"date":"2017-08-11T10:53:22","date_gmt":"2017-08-11T14:53:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/southeastofheaven.com\/?p=17215"},"modified":"2022-01-06T19:49:49","modified_gmt":"2022-01-07T00:49:49","slug":"album-review-bob-kulick-skeletons-in-the-closet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/?p=17215","title":{"rendered":"Album Review: Bob Kulick \u2013 Skeletons in the Closet"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Bob Kulick \u2013 Skeletons in the Closet<\/strong>
\nRelease Date:<\/strong> September 15, 2017
\nLabel<\/strong>: Vanity Music<\/p>\n

They say not to judge a book by its cover. Well, it\u2019s kind of hard to do when the cover looks like it was done by a 14-year-old who just started taking digital imaging classes. I mean, let\u2019s look at this cover, shall we? You have the buxom, sexy female with a jacked up face who is standing in front of a closet door. Don\u2019t worry. She\u2019s not ugly; she\u2019s just drawn that way. Now, what\u2019s the deal with the door? Is it closing on one side and opening on the other? A Marshall stack. Now, this guy definitely means business and I love the \u201cartist\u201d made sure you could read the \u201cESP\u201d on the headstock of the guitar. Oh, I get it, that is actually Curly\u2019s guitar! Fantastic. Wait, what\u2019s this? Two basses coming out of the closet? What\u2019s he gonna do? Go into \u201cBig Bottom\u201d by Spinal Tap or something? Wow, and we haven\u2019t even gotten into the album yet.<\/p>\n

For those of you who don\u2019t know, Bob Kulick is somewhat of a studio legend. He originally auditioned for the guitar spot in KISS that went to Ace Frehley. One can only assume that while he looks ridiculous, he\u2019s a monster player so KISS kept him around and used him various studio projects and even was the guitarist in Paul Stanley\u2019s solo band. After 51 years, Bob Kulick was ready to step out front and show the world what we was capable of doing as a solo artist and the results are nothing less than absolutely hysterical.<\/p>\n

Skeletons In the Closet kicks off with \u201cRich Man\u201d featuring the pitchy vocals of Todd Kerns (who?) singing, \u201cAin\u2019t got no money, ain\u2019t got no swimming pools, but I got you so baby I\u2019m a rich man.\u201d This pretty much makes any KISS song sound like a Rush anthem. Dee Snider delivers an outstanding performance on the song \u201cLondon\u201d but this is a great example of how not even the best of vocalists can save a poorly written song. Things just get more hilarious as we are gifted with such deep, thought provoking tracks such as \u201cPlayer\u201d, \u201cCan\u2019t Stop The Rock\u201d, and the masterpiece \u201cGuitar Commandos\u201d where singer Dennis St. James (who?) sings, \u201cWhen the time is right, I can play all night, I\u2019m hard wired straight to your soul\u201d and \u201c\u2026 we know all the tricks of the trade. We\u2019re no pretenders. Whoa oh! Guitar Commandos.\u201d I couldn\u2019t make this shit up if I tried.<\/p>\n

My wife always tells me to try and compliment any negatives with a positive so I at least I can say this with a straight face: Bob Kulick is a bad motherfucker on the guitar. He\u2019s a fantastic player and the guy can fucking rip it. With the exception of one guy, he chose some pretty stellar vocalists and the production is top notch. That being said, you can\u2019t polish a turd. The songs are juvenile at best and are corny, hilarious, and far beyond clich\u00e9. Kulick is much better suited being a behind the scenes guy and if I were him, I\u2019m cram these skeletons back into the closet really fucking quick before anyone notices what he\u2019s let out.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Bob Kulick \u2013 Skeletons in the Closet Release Date: September 15, 2017 Label: Vanity Music They say not to judge a book by its cover. Well, it\u2019s kind of hard to do when the cover looks like it was done by a 14-year-old who just started taking digital imaging classes. I mean, let\u2019s look at this cover, shall we? You have the buxom, sexy female with a jacked up face who is standing in front of a closet door. Don\u2019t […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,277],"tags":[1843,605],"class_list":["post-17215","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-album-reviews","category-music-news","tag-bob-kulick","tag-kiss-2"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17215","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/14"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=17215"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17215\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19660,"href":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17215\/revisions\/19660"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=17215"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=17215"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=17215"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}