{"id":14685,"date":"2015-04-15T07:24:07","date_gmt":"2015-04-15T11:24:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/southeastofheaven.com\/?p=14685"},"modified":"2022-01-06T19:51:03","modified_gmt":"2022-01-07T00:51:03","slug":"album-review-royal-thunder-crooked-doors","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/?p=14685","title":{"rendered":"Album Review: Royal Thunder &#8211; Crooked Doors"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Royal Thunder \u2013 Crooked Doors<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>Release Date:<\/strong> April 7, 2015<br \/>\n<strong>Label<\/strong>: Relapse Records<\/p>\n<p>Royal Thunder is one of those bands that almost everyone I know is just shocked that I don\u2019t like. \u201cDude, why don\u2019t you like Royal Thunder? You like Kadavar and Graveyard. Why don\u2019t you like Royal Thunder?\u201d Well, here\u2019s the deal. Their debut album did very little for me and in all honesty, the fact that I can\u2019t remember a damn thing about it should say something. Well, when I heard that Royal Thunder was releasing another album, I decided to give it a listen.<\/p>\n<p>The opening act \u201cTime Machine\u201d actually really caught my attention and even at 7:20 I was actually pretty impressed that I was digging this song. All of the sudden, something happened. The songs \u201cForget You\u201d (aptly titled) and \u201cWake Up\u201d (even more aptly titled) very quickly reminded me why I don\u2019t like this band. It\u2019s not that they suck but it\u2019s just that they really seem to lack the ability to construct a song that will keep my attention and really draw me in. \u201cWake Up\u201d was so fucking annoying that I felt like lead singer Mlny Parsonz\u2019s screaming was actually waking me up from this snoozefest.<\/p>\n<p><center><iframe src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/E8xZjEUERY8\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/center>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFloor\u201d actually kicked things up a notch but once again, \u00bd way through the song I just found myself really just losing interest. Matter of fact, the deeper I got into the album the more quickly I found myself forgetting what I had already heard. Here\u2019s the deal. Royal Thunder is a really talented band. These motherfuckers can play and Ms. Parsonz can sing her ass off but none of this matters if you don\u2019t have good songs and this is what Royal Thunder lacks in my opinion.<\/p>\n<p>In addition to the songs just not being all that good, the overall vibe I get from them is just very disingenuous. I don\u2019t get that fire, passion, or that true connection to the music that they\u2019re playing. When I listen to Graveyard, Kadavar, Witchcraft, etc I hear the passion in their playing. They truly love the kind of music that they play and that resonates. It also resonates in their songwriting and their ability to be lyrically interesting and musically captivating. Royal Thunder just seems to me to be talented musicians playing this type of music because it\u2019s hip. Royal Thunder does have a large fan base so I\u2019m sure they\u2019ll say that I\u2019m just missing something but in my opinion, it\u2019s Royal Thunder that is just flat out missing the mark.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Royal Thunder \u2013 Crooked Doors Release Date: April 7, 2015 Label: Relapse Records Royal Thunder is one of those bands that almost everyone I know is just shocked that I don\u2019t like. \u201cDude, why don\u2019t you like Royal Thunder? You like Kadavar and Graveyard. Why don\u2019t you like Royal Thunder?\u201d Well, here\u2019s the deal. Their debut album did very little for me and in all honesty, the fact that I can\u2019t remember a damn thing about it should say something. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,277],"tags":[867],"class_list":["post-14685","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-album-reviews","category-music-news","tag-royal-thunder"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14685","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/14"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=14685"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14685\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19730,"href":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14685\/revisions\/19730"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=14685"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=14685"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.southeastofheaven.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=14685"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}