Motley Crue: A Shitty Band of Shittier People

Motley Crue. Oh, where do I even begin to talk about this band? Even giving these guys a printed word is giving them press, but I had to do it. I have been bouncing this idea in my head for a couple of years, but after their disastrous 2022 Stadium tour, I just had to take the time to put this out there. Motley Crue fucking sucks.

When I first heard Motley Crue in 1984, I LOVED them. As an 11-year-old kid new to Heavy Metal, I thought Motley Crue was awesome. They looked evil as fuck, they sounded sleazy and nasty, and I must admit that the album packaging for their album Shout at the Devil was badass. However, as I got older and more attentive to their music, I started to see beyond the smoke and mirrors of Motley Crue and realized that they were (and still are) a shitty band. Even while writing this, I am hard-pressed to think of any other band with such a long, fruitful career by being one of the absolute worst bands on the planet.

The defining moment for me to come to this realization was when I saw them live for the first time in 1987 on their Girls Girls Girls tour in 1987. This was my first time seeing Motley Crue, and that night a new up-and-coming band called Guns N’ Roses opened the show. I remember being blown away by Guns N’ Roses’ no-frills rock and roll. No backdrop, no stairs and ramps, and no pyro. Just five guys who looked and sounded oddly like Hanoi Rocks tearing shit up. As for Motley Crue, I remember feeling embarrassed for them. First, they had to go on after Guns N’ Roses; second, they acted like a bunch of drunken buffoons.

Looking back on it now, they were like a cartoon. They embraced every possible cliché a band could embrace and project them all into one night. They drank Jack Daniels in chugging contests between Nikki Sixx and Tommy Lee. Vince Neil was objectively touched by two scantily clad female backup singers (who sounded like dog shit) throughout the night like he was some magnetic, undeniable sex symbol. Nikki Sixx, once again, guzzling Jack Daniels from a bottle and during a bass solo (haha. Yes, a bass solo by Nikki Sixx), throwing himself down a ramp and rolling head over feet towards the audience. Oh, and let’s not forget bouncing around like an idiot on an inflatable motorcycle. How fucking dumb is all that shit?

Like the optimist I am, I attended their 1990 Dr. Feelgood tour, and while they looked way less stupid than they did in ’87, I found that they sucked even worse. Nikki Sixx could not use more than two strings on his bass, Mick Mars’ sloppy, discordant guitar playing, Vince Neil only singing every third and fifth word to the songs because of being winded and being a shitty singer, and Tommy Lee. Well, I will say he’s a decent drummer, and even with his talent, he couldn’t keep that band together.

In 1992, Motley Crue fired Vince Neil because they wanted to try to be a good band, which I thought was admirable. The band hired Scream vocalist/guitarist John Corabi and set out on a path to become a serious band and to be taken seriously. The result was a self-titled album released in 1994 (also called Motley Crue 94) and a surprisingly great album. Now with a vocalist who could sing AND play guitar, Corabi was the motor in the machine that pushed and drove Motley Crue as a band that could play and put on a no-frills live show that was one of my favorite shows to date.

In true Crue fashion, when the album ended up being a commercial flop and saw the band being downgraded from arenas to large clubs/theaters, they kicked John Corabi to the curb without notice and then begged Vince Neil to come back to the band. The result would be another 26 years (including a three-year break after their FIRST farewell tour) of again becoming one of the biggest, non-talented bands on the planet.

Not only is Motley Crue a shitty band, but they are a shitty pack of human sludge. It’s one thing to make bad decisions in your past and own up to them later in life but to build a career off of it and have pride in it is asinine. This band has notoriously done some gnarly shit and expressed satisfaction in this in their biography The Dirt and a horrible biopic of the same name. Nikki Sixx released a book of diary entries from when he was whacked on heroin throughout the ’80s, and they’d even put out a boxset of music titled Music to Crash Your Car To. Remember when Vince Neil crashed his car, killing Razzle of Hanoi Rocks and ruining the lives of two others? Yeah, how classy is that? Fucking dicks.

I decided to try and compile some of the things this band has done publicly to prove what horrible piles of dogshit they were and still are. I’m sure there is so much public crap that we don’t know about, but this is just a condensed version of things for the sake of this article.

Vince Neil: In 1984 drove drunk with Hanoi Rocks drummer Nicholas “Razzle” Dingley, crashing his car head-on into another oncoming vehicle. Not only did Razzle, unfortunately, die at the scene, but the two people in the other car also suffered severe and lifelong brain damage. Vince was charged with vehicular manslaughter and driving under the influence of alcohol as a conclusion of the devastating crash and was sentenced to 30 days in jail and five years probation in September 1985. In addition, Neil was required to pay $2.6 million in restitution to the crash victims and undergo 200 hours of community service. Despite being sentenced to only 30 days, Neil was paroled after serving 15 days in jail for good behavior.

Vince continues to be a drunken mess to this day, and to add insult to injury, Vince put out his selection of tequila. Asshole. Vince would go on to be arrested AT LEAST 5 more times for DUI, attacking a soundman at one of his solo shows, and physically abusing a sex worker at the Bunny Ranch, to which he pleaded guilty and ended up only serving some community service time and taking an anger management course.

 

Tommy Lee: Where do I even begin? Tommy Lee beats women, exposes himself on stage, and jerks off camera for money.

 

 

 

 

 

Nikki Sixx: Mr. Sixx, who would love nothing more than to be considered a serious poet, musician, and philanthropist (insert laughter here), Sixx also showed his true colors in 1997 as a shithead racist. Sixx verbally harassed and assaulted a black security guard during a concert in October 1997. According to a report from CBS, it all started when Sixx started a racial tirade against the guard, yelling, “You’re an asshole, you fucking ni**er. Don’t call me a racist, man, but you are a fucking ni**er.” and then encouraged a crowd of 2,500 to attack him.

 

 

 

Mick Mars: Not only was Mars an absolute drunk, but he was evidently like his brother-in-arms Nikki Sixx, a racist. For example, in a video of a Motley Crue rehearsal in which they were preparing to record what would be the ’94 album with new vocalist/guitarist John Corabi, Mars holds up what seems to be a piece of art of some sorts, looks into the camera and says, “Look at this. It looks like some goddamn ni**er painting right here” and then laughs hysterically. Oh yeah, he “accidentally” shot his girlfriend in 1993 while he was target practicing in the desert, and no charges were filed against him.”

 

In 2022, Motley Crue made a “comeback” to the live circuit as part of a stadium tour that featured headliners Def Leppard, Poison, and opening act Joan Jett and the Blackhearts. Crue was just flat-out embarrassing. There they were. A bunch of old men on stage dressing like they’re still in their 20s (and Mick Mars in his 40s), a stage littered with potty humor novelties and gigantic inflatable nude women, and once again acting like the buffoons that made them famous from day one.

Vince Neil sounded and looked worse than ever, and the band played to backing tapes of the instruments and piped in backing vocals, and rumor has it that Mick Mars is so frail that they have been using an off-stage guitarist for years to fill the void where Mick can’t even play. Sad. I mean, this is a band that was upstaged by Poison, who went on before them) every single night. I love Poison. Always have, but virtuosos they are not, and yet they gave 150% every night, making Motley Crue look even more ridiculous and sad. Even on social media platforms such as Facebook and TikTok, fans shared videos and commentary about just how horrible Motley Crue was. Even after all of this, Motley Crue will have a fan base and probably continue to thrive as an arena band.

What is it about this band? What is it that thousands of people a night hear that I am not hearing? In all honesty, I feel like anyone paying money to see Motley Crue is wrapped up in nostalgia. Soccer moms, balding dads with wrap-around sunglasses, horribly aging rocker dudes, and ex-groupies trying to re-capture those glory days for just one night. They are reliving a time when the booze and drugs were plentiful, their breasts didn’t sag down to their waists, and the guys could actually fit into spandex.

Motley Crue is a shit band, and I genuinely welcome anyone to try and state their case as to how they believe they are a good band and a good live band. But don’t make excuses for them by saying shit like, “YouTube videos are a bad way to judge a band.” No, it’s not. It’s a great way to judge a band live because it’s just that. IT’S LIVE.

And in closing, the members of Motley Crue are just plain, basic, shitty human beings. They’ve lived lives that the average joe like you and me would be spending life in prison for. But, instead, Motley Crue wears their shameful lives on their arms like badges of honor with no regrets or apologies. Motley Crue is the musical equivalent of Donald Trump. Unforgiving, soulless, hateful, downright evil, and proud of it. Regardless of how they wish to be looked at, I will always see them just for who and what they are.

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